as Sun kissed the sands and called it a day….

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sun stood still, innocently still
earth unfolded the drama

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clouds crowded thither – a mob of fanatic followers there
stifling those jubilant red yellow orange afar
for a crepuscular splendor magical

wind’s scripts tiptoed sinuously …
weaving a layered ornamentation
for coppered robe earth wore this side

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sun stood still, innocently still
earth spinned a rhythmic soft sufi there
on its relentless serene voyage

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occasional winds whizzed in
spattering coppery sands amorously ….

I sat there on the ornated mound
drenched in bronzen shimmer, inhaling desert sands
as she gently pulled the blanket over

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Un’desert’ed!

There was a time when silence deafened my ears – that was in childhood – I was so seasoned to sounds of city traffic that its absence triggered disillusionment and deafness for a short span. It happened every time I reached my Grandmom’s home for summer vacations. Her home was in the interiors of a village blanketed by tall areca palms, coconuts, scented jack, nutmeg and sumptuous mango trees. It looked as if earthy maiden sprawled herself leisurely and reclined quietly for an unending siesta there! There was nothing but silence, voiceless winds, noiseless rustles, less talkative birds and homes that stood forlornly solitary and far apart ….and then I longed to go back to the city!

We visited Sharqiah sands in Oman recently for night stay there. It’s a desert that’s quite old by age – probably one amidst a very few places on earth much less abused by humankind! The sands looked untainted, free and quiet. There was nothing but serenity and silence everywhere. There was stillness, there was life ….. and I sank in the freedom there!

I realize I love silence more now….sounds and soundlessness of nature make me more comfortable these days!

This is one hike up and down I ventured without me bothering anxiety or anxiety bothering me! I felt safe somehow – desert sands will never desert me – she lies there arms stretched far and wide to hold me in fold if I slip, carefully, as best as a mother could!

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It’s probably the sea that sands were once part of that made them free and move rhythmically calm!

I left behind giant footsteps…to be covered soon leaving no trace!

Lives many there are – desert it may be but never undeserted!

silence gathered around
summoned by the desert
I sat there …. amidst the sea of sands
on the ornated mound

inhaling silence
engulfing serenity
game to be carried as wind fancies
sands moved
cuddling and caressing the sands beneath
soaring a wee above 
for a soft sufi spin there
for the joy of freedom
for the joy of life
all to become one with the sands beneath!

To be the desert – to be untaut, to be unbound, to let the winds play tunes, play patterns, to be vast, to be open, to just be!

the sculptor and the sculpted

you taught me to lose my ‘self’
to be this, to be that, you told me!
to please you, you and you
to listen, to obey, to follow!
pleasing all pleased all
but never appeased ‘me’!

‘be with the world’ you told me
was bad at learning many a time
never learning enough to lose my ‘self’
dug pits within
to bury deep inside
in bits, in pieces
I pleased you and you and you
I dug pits deeper and deeper and deeper
digging caved in hollows
was bad at learning many a time!

years have gone by
age many has passed by
never dig pits now
‘be with the world’ been much easier now
hollowed enough to let go!
now, but now
you ask me to find my ‘self’
not to be with the world
to be ‘the me’ in the world, you tell me!
‘under control’ pleased all, all the time!
pleasing all never pleased you and you and you now!
holes many have I dug
hollows many have I now
hollow I am, never shallow!

you…. you taught me to lose my ‘self’then!
and now…. you ask me to find my ‘self’… you!
attaworld!…. cheers to you! … cheers to me!

 

Attaworld! …… cheers to you …… and…… cheers to me …… indeed! ……But……am I not you? ain’t you me? …..

can we not ‘just be, let be’?

in continuation to the thought conceived during chat with a fellow blogger! thanks to SKT! 

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‘the sculpted’
terracotta sculpture by Arpan and artist Augustine Varghese, Kochi

Dreamy matters!

     Clear blue sky and unending horizon beckoned me, pleasantly! There is no towering concrete structures between me and the horizon to obstruct my view far and wide… I could see the the entire city…may be more from the balcony up there above! With spirits soaring high, inhaling fresh friendly air, I gazed down …. at thinly lined crisscross roadways beneath …..far far beneath.. …. I heave a sigh, glad to be long long way away from the thick relentlessly running crowd aground! …. Hold on… what do I see here? … Men walking …. in air – just a few there – but …yes indeed walking! Excited and enthused I step out, heaving a big sigh along a beaming smile ……. with unbound happiness surging within…….I slowly step ahead…. yes … I CaN …..WALK IN THE AIR … I take a few steps ahead carefully …. rush back overwhelmed … spellbound, euphoric, I smile, I laugh and I turn around, eyes wide open….. !!!…..er…ugh…..!! its dark, oh…..but….how?….oh…. I still feel euphoric……ugh…..!!!…. ….!!! It was all a dream! …..psssssttt….sssttt!!!

     Dream, it’s been like a TV screen locked inside my head – a screen that gets switched on and off randomly in sleep to play shows different. It rarely replayed a show once telecast and I’ve been watching shows many since childhood – fascinating, amusing, sometimes frightening shows!  No, it has never bothered to disturb my psyche, I linked it to TV for the bizarre drama it presented!

     Dreams are like those clouds on sky! Clouds that doodled pictures different every time! Sky remained serene and plain….  clouds added the drama!

When I was a kid, I was so intrigued once bearing witness to a spectacular array of metaphysical scenes in my dream that I couldn’t help describing it to a schoolmate who I thought was my friend. I was ridiculed. I was laughed at – by all! I learnt dreams are not to be shared. It’s absurd! Mom was the only silent listener whenever she could spare time for my dream narratives and she always told me to offer prayers before I went to sleep. I thought dreaming was bad and remembering even worse! I learnt to keep the picturesque madness within me! I wasn’t ready to ramp my absurdity, not yet!

Dream
my life-size theater where
I walked in air with clouds
climbed cliffs
found barricaded doors I escaped
wandered happily in paradise
felt threatened by creepers
walked sheepishly barely robed

Once in a while, I saw something in my dream which eventually unfolded in reality – it was exciting yet unnerving! Gladly, most of the time, it was just shows different on my TV screen and I kept watching until a few months after college when I decided to dissect a dream to know its source. This happened because a particular show was getting replayed – again and again – that was unusual and I wanted to know why? I wrote it all down!

That was an episode that tipped me off – I realized it was a themed melodramatic depiction of a specific aspect of my life and my plight with symbolic props and characters(after all its a show and its gotta be peppy…yep!). Incidentally, it was a plight I was consciously not giving heed to in physical reality, probably it was boiling within! After dissection, that dream just stopped disturbing me. I knew what to do. It brought me not just solace but success!

It’s not that I dream every day. But when I did, I became curious to break it to know the source. No, certainly not all were possible to be tracked. Its not that I remembered every scene either. Sometimes when I woke up in between with emotions still hanging on me heavily, I tried to skim through those scenes consciously just to store them for later dissection. It worked sometimes. It didn’t sometimes. Sleep gained more importance on bed. When prime characters in the show involved familiar faces, I failed in tracking source – I lacked clarity there! I remained consciously blind to something!

Dream
my life-size theater where
self presented to self
its form rudimentary,
desires uncurtained,
emotions uncurtailed,
perceptions unbridled,
to explore, to navigate
vistas unnoticed, uncared within
to know, to be!

Someone did ‘science with dreams‘ and recorded ‘dreams are made of geomagnetic activity‘. Glad I didn’t know about it when I decided to dissect my dream. I might have missed out on the fun, excitement and knowledge!

May be dreams are not totally made of geomagnetic activity, it probably has something to do with what goes on within one’s mind – may be geomagnetic magnificence provoked those bizarre metaphysical streaming and unnerving scenic displays!

Dream
the thither vision of my hither story!
is this a metaphoric picturesque matrix
of perspective au naturel?
could this be mind’s theme
directed spectacularly by
geomagnetic magnificence?

But then, what do scientists say for dreams that eventually unfold in reality or dreams that showed past events unknown to you ?  

Photos clicked @ Kochi and Oman

A wanderer’s beach pondering….

This has been in my Evernote for a few days now…. drafted during our drive from beach. It was not a weekend trip but an in between one to Al Sawadi beach.

Beach looked deserted being a week day – may be its the Ramadan fasting and warm weather that kept everyone home.

I stood watching shells that were strewn generously on sands – shells and conchs of sizes many, shapes many and shades many that spoke of lives lived and still living in waters -sea seemed to be brimming with life!

You never feel alone amidst nature! Loneliness may be an excuse… solitude is different -you revel and revive in it! 

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its not the sands that tickle your feet all the time – shells do it intermittently…..almost everywhere!  

At Sawadi sands, I get tempted to pocket a few shells every time!

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sands at Sawadi are darker in shade…shells shine sharply here!

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waves churned with unbounded joy
liken a bundle of school kids let loose
bathed and garbed in new found happiness
frivolous, joyous, immensely happy
they raced, they chased, mirthfully bashing one another
falling frailly – giggling rapturously
never wanting to end the fun
they turned aback
to relive it all – all over again!

Sea was relatively calmer last time. May be seas too are prone to mood swings. They need winds to bubble up. They have their high and low tides too – gravity, sun and moon playing their roles perfectly they say!

What am I but elements with 60% water inside and isn’t it quite natural that I too am prone to high and low tides surging and falling within?

 

All images were clicked at Al Sawadi beach, Oman

the bronzen treats

setting beams
of the simmering fireball
spilled silky tenderness
on subjects all –
I bathed in the
gleaming satiny radiance!

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bed may be a thin rim of rusted iron, matters what?  certainly a soothing beamy spa in progress …..or is this catzy heliotherapy?

surging beams
of dawning sun
stretched arms serenely

scattering shimmering lustre most gently
and I basked in the
radiating bronzy glow!

DSCN3204-7That’s the beauty of setting sun. He can blacken you out from behind. To get a silhouette or a soft bronzian glow – all depends on where you place your lens – either way it’s just beautiful! 

“Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting” (– Ralph Waldo Emerson) 

a mind & its windy affair!

‘Mind’ – this word grabbed my attention when I wanted to write about winds – I wasn’t looking for it… but noticed it everywhere and heard it in conversations – contexts different, intents different – but the word remained!

When I was a child I used to think mind was in heart(the innocent idiocies of childhood)! That was well before my exposure to hypocrisies and vanities of life. Learnt later heart has nothing to do with mind! Good for me… ….my heart! …. still wonder why people often villainize their heart and take it to gallows for mind’s caprices!!

Curiosity, the still surviving innocence within made me google ‘mind’.

Mind
Noun
1. the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought”
2. a person’s intellect.
Verb
1. be distressed, annoyed, or worried by.
2. regard as important; feel concern about.

Researches and journals had pages many on mind’s workings and google listed them in screens many! …….but..location of mind?…. still remained a mystery! …..!!….. Mind is not confined to brain nor to consciousness! ….. Well …. it becomes difficult to comprehend – once you step on realms other than real, conscious and concrete! May be its better to leave it all to mind  …….to know more…to explore! 

Now that leaves me to continue with what I wanted to share here – wind!

Wind has been constantly hollering, howling and ‘hae’ing around window frames and A/C interstices for the last few days and its amplifying rumble has been increasingly intriguing and distracting. 

Desert winds are charmers and they can be heedlessly noisy when they want to – may be because they don’t have trees to converse and share! When they get intermittently gutsy they keep howling through window slits and gaps nonchalantly demanding entry.

These winds can raise columns of dust off the arid land creating dust ghosts of sizes many and forms varied – a bizarre performance that may last a few seconds to minutes.

They are unlike dust storms or sandstorms that last for minutes longer blinding the entire space with smokes of dust or sand.

On a windy day, from my window I can see the elemental dance of dry grass and diffident sway of dry land bushes in tune with wind’s blowing beats. As I wonder how those tiny feathery birdies manage to anchor their tender bodies against gushing winds, a sparrow flutters its wings and regains balance in a jiffy most softly. So does the bee-eater!

In India, have soaked pleasurably in the pleasing cool breeze that caressed and cuddled coastal parts of northern Chennai, post lunch, all through the year – more in summer. Have happily inhaled calm and cool air of Kochi streets post sunset. Wind in Oman is warmer both day and night between May-October and this makes it less friendly… but plainly its hard to find more friendlier weather in the Persian Gulf!

at sea
receding waters hurriedly sewed

scaly fringes on shore’s hems  –
water’s autograph endorsing its windy affair!

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patterns diverse on drifting sands
never satisfied with design last sketched
wind’s desert whims are they!

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hide and seek on mountain ranges  
the haphazard game that winds played 
carving sculptures of sizes several
stories intrinsic in volumes myriad!

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Winds can be calm, breezy, noisy, stormy, ravenous and so are our minds! It is by happenstance that ‘mind’ caught my attention when I all wanted to write was wind – Wind and Mind – the invisible unbounded wanderers of spaces hither definitely possessing raging skills to create wonders and havoc! 

 

The above images and video were clicked and recorded in the Sultanate of Oman